THE BACK OFFICE

DEEP CUTS

The investigative wing of the broadcast booth. Every number below is real, computed from three seasons of receipts, and legally actionable in the group chat.

FOLLOW THE MONEY

The Glaze Report

Who trades with whom the most. Two-manager trade frequency, all-time. Draw your own conclusions; the booth already has.

Adil × Zaid
5
trades together · at this point it's a joint venture
Omar A. × Adil
2
trades together
Zaid × Yousef
2
trades together
Karim × Zaid
1
trades together
Mustafa × Zaid
1
trades together
Aziz × Adil
1
trades together

RESTRAINING ORDERS PENDING

The Cuck Report

The most lopsided rivalries in league history (minimum 4 meetings). One man's series lead is another man's entire personality problem.

Adil cucks Tarick
6–0
6 meetings and counting
Ahmad cucks Tarick
5–0
5 meetings and counting
Omar H. cucks Mustafa
4–0
4 meetings and counting
Yousef cucks Omar H.
5–1
6 meetings and counting
Yousef cucks Zaid
5–1
6 meetings and counting
Karim cucks Issa
4–1
5 meetings and counting

AUDIT DIVISION

Fraud Watch

The BS-win detector: who piles up wins while scoring the least and facing the softest scoring against them. A high Fraud Score means the record is doing work the roster never did.

ManagerRecordWin%PF/SznPA/SznGift WinsFraud Score
Hamed (RIP 💀)7-7.500154815280+62
Yousef30-12.714184516112+38
Issa22-20.524160716402+35
Okashah16-12.571168716151+35
Adil27-15.643176816241+31
Karim20-22.476155416304+19
Aziz7-7.500181115890+12
Adel (RIP 💀)13-15.4641652160610
Zaid19-23.452160316971-31
Ahmad19-23.452163716612-35
Omar A.20-22.476171317072-38
Omar H.17-25.405159516851-42
Mustafa18-24.429161616921-46
Tarick17-25.405160717581-69

Fraud Score = win percentile minus the average of points-for and points-against percentiles. Positive red numbers win games they have no business winning. Gift wins: victories while scoring in the week's bottom four.

THE FILM ROOM

Worst Lineup Changes

Every start/sit call ever made, audited. These are the benchings that cost the most points — the guy left on the bench against the guy who started over him.

  1. 1
    Omar A. benched DJ Moore (49) and started James Conner (4.6)
    2023 · Week 5 · (Ninjer)
    -44.4
  2. 2
    Karim benched Taysom Hill (41.5) and started T.J. Hockenson (3.3)
    2024 · Week 11 · (Hock Tua)
    -38.2
  3. 3
    Adel (RIP 💀) benched Brock Purdy (36.3) and started Jalen Hurts (0)
    2024 · Week 17 · (Be my Jaan Robinson)
    -36.3
  4. 4
    Adil benched Zack Moss (33.5) and started Miles Sanders (1.2)
    2023 · Week 5 · (Dilmeisters)
    -32.3
  5. 5
    Aziz benched Michael Wilson (33.5) and started DeVonta Smith (1.8)
    2025 · Week 11 · (Fourth and Bald)
    -31.7
  6. 6
    Yousef benched Josh Allen (48.7) and started Drake Maye (17.4)
    2025 · Week 11 · (Drake and Josh)
    -31.3
  7. 7
    Ahmad benched Tank Dell (29.6) and started Marvin Mims Jr. (0)
    2023 · Week 9 · (Lucy's Finest)
    -29.6
  8. 8
    Ahmad benched Gus Edwards (29.4) and started Miles Sanders (0)
    2023 · Week 8 · (Lucy's Finest)
    -29.4
  9. 9
    Mustafa benched Demarcus Robinson (27.4) and started Xavier Worthy (-1)
    2024 · Week 9 · (Team Mohammad)
    -28.4
  10. 10
    Mustafa benched Jaylen Waddle (28.4) and started Quentin Johnston (0)
    2024 · Week 12 · (Team Mohammad)
    -28.4
Points Left on the Bench (all-time)
  1. 1
    Ahmad
    1025
  2. 2
    Karim
    976
  3. 3
    Yousef
    923
  4. 4
    Omar A.
    861
  5. 5
    Issa
    843
Perfect Lineup Weeks
  1. 1
    Adil
    13
  2. 2
    Omar H.
    6
  3. 3
    Adel (RIP 💀)
    5
  4. 4
    Zaid
    5
  5. 5
    Yousef
    4

PERSONNEL DEPARTMENT

Player Files

Every lineup ever set, viewed from the players' side: who carried whom, who detonated, who toured the whole league, and who scored a season's worth of points from the bench.

Ahmad · franchise player
Lamar Jackson
QB · 994 points across 41 starts
Yousef · franchise player
Josh Allen
QB · 801 points across 31 starts
Mustafa · franchise player
Jalen Hurts
QB · 707 points across 32 starts
Adel (RIP 💀) · franchise player
Bijan Robinson
RB · 531 points across 32 starts
Adil · franchise player
Jayden Daniels
QB · 529 points across 22 starts
Karim · franchise player
Jaxon Smith-Njigba
WR · 518 points across 25 starts
Tarick · franchise player
Amon-Ra St. Brown
WR · 497 points across 26 starts
Omar H. · franchise player
DeVonta Smith
WR · 427 points across 29 starts
Issa · franchise player
Dak Prescott
QB · 410 points across 21 starts
Omar A. · franchise player
Jonathan Taylor
RB · 356 points across 16 starts
Zaid · franchise player
Tyreek Hill
WR · 355 points across 15 starts
Aziz · franchise player
Puka Nacua
WR · 349 points across 15 starts
Okashah · franchise player
De'Von Achane
RB · 323 points across 16 starts
Hamed (RIP 💀) · franchise player
Keenan Allen
WR · 255 points across 11 starts
Biggest Single Games Started
  1. 1
    Josh Allen
    for Yousef · 2024 Wk 14
    57.9
  2. 2
    Ja'Marr Chase
    for Ahmad · 2024 Wk 10
    55.4
  3. 3
    Jahmyr Gibbs
    for Yousef · 2025 Wk 12
    55.4
  4. 4
    Trevor Lawrence
    for Issa · 2025 Wk 15
    54.3
  5. 5
    Ja'Marr Chase
    for Adil · 2023 Wk 5
    52.2
All-Time Workhorses (Started Pts)
  1. 1
    Josh Allen
    47 starts
    1171
  2. 2
    Jalen Hurts
    48 starts
    1058
  3. 3
    Lamar Jackson
    41 starts
    994
  4. 4
    Ja'Marr Chase
    45 starts
    917
  5. 5
    Jahmyr Gibbs
    46 starts
    897
The Mercenaries (Most Teams)
  1. 1
    Steelers D/ST
    7
  2. 2
    Commanders D/ST
    7
  3. 3
    Colts D/ST
    7
  4. 4
    Buccaneers D/ST
    7
  5. 5
    Seahawks D/ST
    7
Most Points Scored From a Bench
  1. 1
    Jared Goff
    657
  2. 2
    Baker Mayfield
    363
  3. 3
    Trevor Lawrence
    350
  4. 4
    Jordan Love
    345
  5. 5
    Matthew Stafford
    335

Jared Goff has scored 657 points from various benches around this league. Somebody free him.

THE PHONES

The Trade Desk

Offers sent, doors slammed, and vetoes cast. Proposing a trade is free, which explains a lot of this.

Offers Sent
  1. 1
    Zaid
    83
  2. 2
    Karim
    60
  3. 3
    Aziz
    51
  4. 4
    Yousef
    31
  5. 5
    Omar A.
    30
Trades Declined
  1. 1
    Karim
    46
  2. 2
    Okashah
    24
  3. 3
    Ahmad
    22
  4. 4
    Aziz
    21
  5. 5
    Issa
    18
Vetoes Cast
  1. 1
    Adil
    33
  2. 2
    Tarick
    13
  3. 3
    Mustafa
    11
  4. 4
    Karim
    8
  5. 5
    Okashah
    8

3 AM ACTIVITY

The Waiver Wire

Claims won and claims lost. Losing a waiver claim means someone wanted your guy more and got up earlier.

Waiver Claims Won
  1. 1
    Karim
    46
  2. 2
    Omar A.
    31
  3. 3
    Adil
    31
  4. 4
    Okashah
    24
  5. 5
    Yousef
    23
Waiver Claims Lost
  1. 1
    Karim
    42
  2. 2
    Yousef
    17
  3. 3
    Adil
    17
  4. 4
    Omar A.
    16
  5. 5
    Issa
    15

THE MUSEUM

Streaks

Longest runs of glory and misery, including sustained beatings administered by a single rival.

Longest Win Streak
  1. 1
    Adil
    8
  2. 2
    Adel (RIP 💀)
    6
  3. 3
    Okashah
    6
  4. 4
    Ahmad
    5
  5. 5
    Yousef
    5
Longest Losing Streak
  1. 1
    Issa
    7
  2. 2
    Mustafa
    6
  3. 3
    Adel (RIP 💀)
    6
  4. 4
    Tarick
    6
  5. 5
    Omar H.
    5
Longest Skid vs One Rival
  1. 1
    Tarick lost to Adil
    6×
  2. 2
    Omar H. lost to Yousef
    5×
  3. 3
    Tarick lost to Ahmad
    5×
  4. 4
    Zaid lost to Yousef
    5×
  5. 5
    Issa lost to Karim
    4×

APPOINTMENT TELEVISION

Series Watch

The most contested long-running series, and the matchup the schedule-maker can't stop booking.

Omar A. vs Issa
3–3
6 meetings · avg margin 0.2 · genuinely competitive, somehow
Omar A. vs Adil
3–3
6 meetings · avg margin 1.0 · genuinely competitive, somehow
Issa vs Zaid
3–3
6 meetings · avg margin 2.9 · genuinely competitive, somehow
Omar H. vs Adel (RIP 💀)
2–2
4 meetings · avg margin 0.4 · genuinely competitive, somehow
Omar H. vs Adil
2–2
4 meetings · avg margin 0.7 · genuinely competitive, somehow
Tarick vs Mustafa
2–2
4 meetings · avg margin 1.8 · genuinely competitive, somehow

Most matchups all-time: Ahmad vs Zaid — 7 games. At this point they should split rent.

VOLUME LEADERS

The Counting Stats

Raw accumulation, per-season where it matters. No context, no mercy.

Most Wins
  1. 1
    Yousef
    30
  2. 2
    Adil
    27
  3. 3
    Issa
    22
  4. 4
    Karim
    20
  5. 5
    Omar A.
    20
Most Losses
  1. 1
    Omar H.
    25
  2. 2
    Tarick
    25
  3. 3
    Mustafa
    24
  4. 4
    Ahmad
    23
  5. 5
    Zaid
    23
Points / Season
  1. 1
    Yousef
    1845
  2. 2
    Aziz
    1811
  3. 3
    Adil
    1768
  4. 4
    Omar A.
    1713
  5. 5
    Okashah
    1687
Fewest Points / Season
  1. 1
    Hamed (RIP 💀)
    1548
  2. 2
    Karim
    1554
  3. 3
    Omar H.
    1595
  4. 4
    Zaid
    1603
  5. 5
    Issa
    1607
Best Point Differential / Szn
  1. 1
    Yousef
    +234
  2. 2
    Aziz
    +222
  3. 3
    Adil
    +144
  4. 4
    Okashah
    +72
  5. 5
    Adel (RIP 💀)
    +46
Worst Point Differential / Szn
  1. 1
    Tarick
    -151
  2. 2
    Zaid
    -94
  3. 3
    Omar H.
    -90
  4. 4
    Mustafa
    -76
  5. 5
    Karim
    -76
Win Percentage
  1. 1
    Yousef
    .714
  2. 2
    Adil
    .643
  3. 3
    Okashah
    .571
  4. 4
    Issa
    .524
  5. 5
    Hamed (RIP 💀)
    .500
Free Agent Pickups
  1. 1
    Adil
    120
  2. 2
    Karim
    78
  3. 3
    Zaid
    54
  4. 4
    Issa
    54
  5. 5
    Omar A.
    47